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Jinglin' Beats
TBO Extra vets this year's batch of holiday CDs to find the gems among the lumps of coal.
Tribune illustration by ANDY DORSETT
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Published: November 27, 2008
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Christmas might be America's favorite holiday, but it's also an opportunity for musical acts to rake in the extra cash by releasing some really, really awful holiday tunes.
Knowledge is the best defense. So our brave group of staff members popped the discs in the players, slapped on the headphones and judged. In a first for us, at least as far as we can remember, we found more "nice" music than "naughty" music - naughty in this instance meaning "not good" (another first for us).
Why did we do it? Because we know bad music, friends, and we didn't want you wasting your money on it.
Kevin Walker
NICE
TONY BENNETT FEATURING THE COUNT BASIE BIG BAND: A SWINGIN' CHRISTMAS (COLUMBIA)
From a boppin' "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" to the lonely "I'll Be Home for Christmas," there's a song to fit all your holiday moods from joyful to melancholy - though it's hard not to be happy when Tony and the Count Basie band deliver the musical gifts. (KM)
Download this: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"
SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHER: THE DAWN OF GRACE (NETTWERK)
Can I admit I find Leigh Nash's voice sort of sexy? Guess I just did. So even though Nash and guitarist Matt Slocum (who reunited last year) predictably "jangle up" the usual Christmas fare, it's all very precious and pretty, and Nash sounds great. So if you're a fan, why not? (KW)
Download this: "Silent Night"
JARS OF CLAY: CHRISTMAS SONGS (GRAY MATTERS)
You'd expect an interesting Christmas CD from a Christian-band-gone-indie. This one offers a mostly folksy mix of classics ("God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," "O Little Town of Bethlehem"), playful originals ("Hibernation Day") and a bit of depth ("Peace is Here") in these troubled times. But did we really need another version of Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime"? (MCS)
Download this: "Peace Is Here"
ROSIE THOMAS: A VERY ROSIE CHRISTMAS! (SING-A-LONG)
Rosie Thomas and friends make these well-worn holiday standards feel more like sipping hot cocoa with friends by the fireplace and less like chugging off-brand eggnog with a mall Santa by the Orange Julius. Indie warmth battles corporate sheen - and it's no contest. (RB)
Download this: "Why Can't It Be Christmastime All Year?"
VARIOUS ARTISTS: THE ESSENTIAL NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL CHRISTMAS (EMI)
A cavalcade of great and horrible classics join new entries. Colbie Caillat's "Mistletoe" is a treat. (MS)
Download this: "Mistletoe"
MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER: COME DARKNESS, COME LIGHT (ZOE)
Her distinctive voice brings a simple, somber mood to this mix of original and traditional tunes. It's definitely not party music. (MS)
Download this: "Hot Buttered Rum"
CAROLING, CAROLING: CHRISTMAS WITH NATALIE COLE (RHINO)
Cole transports us back in time again, singing eight classics in a style her dad perfected. He joins her and the London Symphony Orchestra for one number. (MS)
Download this: "The Christmas Song"
ARETHA FRANKLIN: THIS CHRISTMAS ARETHA (DMI)
This soulful holiday ode is the first-ever Christmas album by Aretha, produced by hit songwriter Tena Clark. The Queen of Soul takes listeners on a spiritual caroling journey fit for a church concert or background music at home. (SH)
Download this: "Ave Maria"
YO-YO MA & FRIENDS: SONGS OF JOY & PEACE (SONY)
Perhaps the most attractive aspect of this wonderful collection of collaborations with such artists as Diana Krall, Dave Brubeck and Joshua Redman is that it has something for lovers of jazz and contemporary music to enjoy as well as for classical music fans. Bring a box of Kleenex when listening to the simple and elegant "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)." (JH)
Download this: "The Wexford Carol" with Alison Krauss and Natalie MacMaster
SARAH BRIGHTMAN: A WINTER SYMPHONY (EMI)
Sarah Brightman puts her pipes to work on her first Christmas album, mixing standards such as "Silent Night" with new offerings such as "Arrival." It's a solid holiday choice, suitable for a gathering of friends or a quiet night at home. (JWA)
Download this: "Colder Than Winter"
KRISTEN CHENOWETH: A LOVELY WAY TO SPEND CHRISTMAS (SONY)
The little gal with the big Broadway voice does a mix of traditional songs and some unexpected ones, such as "Sing," originally performed by Big Bird of "Sesame Street." The co-star of ABC's "Pushing Daisies" adds a country twang to "Silver Bells" and hits a high note with "Do You Hear What I Hear?" (WB)
Download this: "Christmas Island"
SHERYL CROW: HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (A&M)
Sheryl Crow's first Christmas CD gives a bluesy, swing touch to nine holiday classics and one original, "There is a Star That Shines Tonight." Her fans will like her takes on "The Christmas Song," "Go Tell it on the Mountain" and "I'll Be Home for Christmas." The CD is available exclusively at Hallmark Crown Stores ($7.95 with purchase of three Hallmark cards). (WB)
Download this: "Merry Christmas, Baby"
ELVIS PRESLEY: CHRISTMAS DUETS (SONY)
Thanks to the magic of digital remixing, Elvis is paired with a bevy of female country artists including Gretchen Wilson, Carrie Underwood, LeAnn Rimes, Anne Murray and others. Martina McBride shares vocals on his memorable "Blue Christmas." Also included are three bonus solo tracks. (WB)
Download this: "Santa Claus Is Back in Town"
VARIOUS ARTISTS: THIS WARM DECEMBER: A BRUSHFIRE HOLIDAY VOL. 1 (BRUSHFIRE)
This showcase of the stars in Brushfire's galaxy (including surf troubadour Jack Johnson) is one mellow little collection of originals and classics. "Stuck at the Airport" by Money Mark should become a holiday tradition, if only because it contains the very modern lyric: "I'm stuck at the airport / my iPod is broken." Quel horror! (JH)
Download this: "No Christmas for Me" by Zee Avi
VARIOUS ARTISTS: WE WISH YOU A METAL XMAS AND A HEADBANGING NEW YEAR (ARMOURY)
On Dio, on Cooper, on Lemmy, on Grohl. Thrash away! Thrash away! Thrash away all! (JH)
Download this: "Silent Night" by Chuck Billy
HARRY CONNICK JR.: WHAT A NIGHT! (COLUMBIA)
Connick puts you in the setting of your favorite Christmas movie on "What A Night!" It can come off as commercial, but is quite soulful, as shown on "Song for the Hopeful." (NW)
Download this: "Zat You, Santa Claus?"
AL JARREAU CHRISTMAS (RHINO)
Jarreau's rendition of the classics is refreshing and original. This smooth jazz compilation is warm and funky at the same time. (NW)
Download this: "Carol of the Bells"
FAITH HILL: JOY TO THE WORLD (WARNER BROS.)
Audrey Faith Perry Hill McGraw finally got around to recording a Christmas CD, and though the tastefully twang-free results won't boost her street cred with C&W purists, at least she has the sense not to turn the whole thing into a vanity project. Faith's in fine voice on reverent versions of seasonal standards such as "O Come, All Ye Faithful," as well as the new vaguely holiday-themed single "A Baby Changes Everything," making this a solid choice for anyone dreaming of a beige Christmas. (RJ)
Download this: "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town"
JULIAN KOSTER: THE SINGING SAW AT CHRISTMASTIME (MERGE)
Former Tampa scenester and incurable musical iconoclast Julian Koster serves up a dozen choice, um, cuts on this seasonal showcase for the humble titular idiophone. The track list sticks to familiar classics, each given a spare arrangement that sounds like a gentle wind whistling through bare winter branches. It's ethereal, at times haunting, and guaranteed to sound like nothing else in your holiday music collection. (RJ)
Download this: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
FLESHTONES: STOCKING STUFFER (YEP ROC)
The Super Rock boys shake the dust off mostly obscure tunes - "Canadian Christmas," anyone? - for a house-rockin' half-hour that could save even the most moribund Christmas soiree. (CR)
Download this: "I Still Believe in Christmas"
VARIOUS ARTISTS: CHRISTMAS A GO GO (WICKED COOL)
The inclusion of a Joe Pesci track suggests compiler Steven Van Zandt may have serious gambling debts to settle. Minus that and a couple other missteps, though, this is aces, featuring some hard to find holiday greats by Keith Richards, Bob Seger and Darlene Love. (CR)
Download this: "Alone at Christmas" by Darlene Love
RICHARD GILEWITZ: STRINGS FOR A SEASON (GILLAZILLA)
Former Tampa resident Gilewitz isn't the most reverent guy in the world, but his takes on traditional carols are tasteful even when he occasionally gooses the arrangements. His guitar arrangements are so pretty they hurt. (CR)
Download this: "We Three Kings of Orient Are"
WEE HAIRY BEASTIES: HOLIDAYS GONE CRAZY (WEE BEATZ)
Seasonal silliness for kids that will entertain the parents as well (assuming they're not squares). Jon Langford, Sally Timms, Kelly Hogan and Rich Cookin' Sherry are the Chief Beasties. (CR)
Download this: "Dinosaur Christmas"
VARIOUS ARTISTS: I'LL STAY 'TIL AFTER CHRISTMAS (AWR)
Au Revoir Simone, Blitzen Trapper and My Brightest Diamond are among the artists contributing to this collection of mostly gauzy takes on holiday numbers familiar and not so. Proceeds go to Amnesty International. This is for download only. (CR)
Download this: "Christmastime Is Here Again," by Au Revoir Simone
NAUGHTY
VARIOUS ARTISTS: ALL WRAPPED UP (HOLLYWOOD)
The Jonas Brothers open things up with an operatic rocker, "Joyful Kings," which combines "Joy To The World" and "We Three Kings." It's as awful as it sounds. Miley Cyrus is perfectly bland on a straightforward rendition of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." Plain White T's, Jordan Pruitt and Marie Digby provide similarly forgettable holiday songs, while Demi Lovato destroys Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime." Aly & AJ provide the high point, such as it is, with a rockin' "Greatest Time of the Year." (KW)
Download this: "Greatest Time of the Year"
LOREENA MCKENNITT: A MIDWINTER NIGHT'S DREAM (QUINLAN ROAD LIMITED)
Be sure to take your Prozac before hitting "play" on this one. There's something deeply saddening about the minor chords of the Celtic-flavored vocals. The Canadian soprano's voice is beautiful and ethereal, but nothing you want to listen to if this is your first holiday since the cat died. (JH)
Download this: "Coventry Carol"
ENYA: AND WINTER CAME ... (REPRISE)
So what does an Enya holiday album sound like? Every other Enya album. Plus sleigh bells. There's nothing really ground-breaking here, but the holiday spirit just might give you fresh ears for her ethereal, New Age-y magic. (RB)
Download this: "White Is in the Winter Night"
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK: MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS (SONY)
When NKOTB sings "White Christmas" on this reissue from their '80s glory days, it doesn't get any whiter. (JH)
Download this: "I'll Be Missin You Come Christmas (A Letter to Santa)"
PEAS FEATURING RACHEL LESLIE: A CHRISTMAS CHILL (ORANGE TABLE)
Los Angeles-based electronica/down-tempo/house DJ Peter "Peas" McEvilley brings an ambient sensibility to this collection of holiday standards. The appropriately titled "A Christmas Chill" would actually benefit from a more experimental approach, particularly given the eclectic audience that follows his work. (JWA)
Download this: "O Holy Night"
MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER: CHRISTMASVILLE (AMERICAN GRAMOPHONE)
Conceived as a musical accompaniment to Universal Orlando's "Grinchmas" show, this latest of 10 holiday-themed releases by Mannheim Steamroller features the usual billowing arrangements of brassy fanfare and fizzy faux-classical synthesizers that sound like they could use an Alka-Seltzer, but it mainly leans on bland, nauseatingly melodramatic ballads. The jazz-inflected "The Man With the Bag" swings only mildly, but in this context, oh, what a relief it is. (RJ)
Download this: "(Everybody's Waitin' For) The Man With the Bag"
GEORGE STRAIT: CLASSIC CHRISTMAS (MCA)
Strait's third Christmas CD contains all the familiar numbers you'd have thought he'd already done on the first two, only he didn't. It's well-sung and well-played of course, but the only fun to be had is in the Bob Wills-style treatments of "Jingle Bells" and "Up on the Housetop." (CR)
Download this: "Up on the Housetop"
John W. Allman, Ryan Bauer, Walt Belcher, Jeff Houck, Sarah Hoye, Rommie Johnson, Kim MacCormack, Curtis Ross, Mary Shedden, Marty C. Strasen, Kevin Walker and Nick Williams contributed to this report.
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