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Familiarity breeds boring 'Transformers' sequel

Photo from Paramount Pictures

The Autobot Optimus Prime (left) once again allies with earthling Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), in 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,' opening today.

By KEVIN WALKER | The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 24, 2009

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The first "Transformers" movie from 2007 had the element of surprise going for it — that is, the concept seemed lame, but in reality it was surprisingly fun and entertaining. This movie does not have that advantage.

We all know what the effects are going to look like. We all know Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela (Megan Fox) are going to bicker but ultimately remain together. We all know Agent Simmons (John Turturro) is going to be obsessed with aliens.

It's all here. So unless you truly, madly, deeply enjoy watching fake trucks and cars and cranes transform into fake robots, there's not much here for you. That is, unless you enjoy a lot of noise. If there was an Oscar for innovation in making loud machine-like noises, this film would be the slam-dunk winner.

More unfortunately, the movie strays into "Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace" territory by using ethnic stereotypes — particularly sidekick robots Mudflap and Skids — and low-brow humor (in this case, repeated jokes about dogs and dog-like robots humping something) for comic relief. It's often painful and rarely funny.

The movie begins not long after the first one ended. Good robot Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, has teamed up with an international military team (although it's mostly American) to root out the remnants of bad robots (Decepticons) still on Earth.

What they don't know is that there is a key hidden somewhere on Earth that can be used to activate a machine that will destroy the sun and allow the Decepticons to (you guessed it) rule the world! They are led by bad robot Megatron (voiced again by Hugo Weaving), who is sprung by his minions from his deep-sea prison, where we last saw him. He immediately — incidentally and almost casually — kills a bunch of people on a submarine. Or, at least, we think so — director Michael Bay never bothers to show us their fate.

The movie is filled with a lot of dead bodies and intense action. Bay seeks to lighten the mood with comic characters, such as an aide to the president who wants the Autobots to leave the planet. He disappears in the last section of the movie, as do the aforementioned Mudflap and Skids, who speak in slang and fist pump and are embarrassing, cartoon-like stereotypes. The juxtaposition of these characters — not to mention the dog humping jokes — with the everyone-is-going-to-die tone of much of the movie is jarring.

Of course, the key to defeating the Decepticons lies with Witwicky, who is going off to college, which means he must have a long-distance romance with his girl, Mikaela. They are reunited soon enough to follow a series of clues that leads them to form a partnership with former enemy Agent Simmons and travel to the Egyptian pyramids for a showdown. They bring along Witwicky's nerdy roommate, Leo (Ramon Rodriguez), for comic relief.

But remember, the main attraction here is special effects — and a whole lot of transforming. Plan accordingly.

MOVIE REVIEW

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen *

MOVIE BOARD RATING: PG-13; intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material

STARS: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez

DIRECTOR: Michael Bay

PLOT SUMMARY: Sam Witwicky finds himself again in the middle of a battle between robots wanting to protect Earth (Autobots) and robots wanting to destroy Earth (Decepticons). Massive amounts of computer-generated images ensue.

RUNNING TIME: 150 minutes

ON THE WEB: www.transformersmovie.com

Movies are rated on a scale of zero to four stars; Kevin Walker can be reached at (813) 259-7975.