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Being a zombie's not so bad, really

Staff photo by KATE CALDWELL

Ryan Bauer transforms himself into a zombie before performing in Jobsite Theater's 'Night of the Living Dead.'

By RYAN BAUER

Published: October 28, 2009

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TAMPA - You know what I've been craving lately?

Brains.

That's why I was so excited when I was invited to be a guest zombie for Jobsite Theater's production of the 1968 horror classic, "Night of the Living Dead."

If you're a fan of the movie, you'll be relieved to know that the stage adaptation — written by Lori Allen Ohm — mirrors the movie word-for-word, save for a few small changes. (The townspeople have cell phones now, for example.)

Christen Pettit, the theater's resident zombie wrangler, helped me apply my makeup, a mixture of off-the-shelf cosmetics and home-spun blood and guts. A few zombies in more prominent roles had professional makeup artists apply their putrid prosthetics, the results of which were delightfully nasty.

As Christen and I applied the finishing touches to my bloody chest wound, she prepared me for my role by dispelling some popular zombie misconceptions.

"Well, you know, zombies aren't evil," she says. "I mean, they're just hungry. They're accidents of fate whose tastes have just changed from burgers and fries to flesh, and intestines, and fresh ... um ... human brains."

Once I was all zombiefied, we spent a few minutes in the theater going over our ghoulish groans and gruesome gaits with the other actors. The stage manager gave us the signal, and it was show time.

In the end, I probably got to spend about five minutes flaunting my zombie shuffle in front of the sold-out crowd. And while I did have fun with my afternoon of flesh feasting …. I think I might stick to my vegetarian lifestyle for now.

At least until I get bit again.

You can check out the undead for yourself at the Shimberg Playhouse, TBPAC through Nov. 15: Thu. – Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 4 p.m. Tickets are $24.50.